I,ve decided today that i will use my blog as more of a diary than anything else as i want to try and keep a log of whats happening in my life at the moment as i know that i'm shall we say not at my best at present,although today i feel i've had a break through.Today by chance i got talking to some one that i know,a friend as such,but not a good friend and i found a certian level of understanding that i've not found before.I've met this friend on a few occasions and was aware that she also suffers from bi polar disorder or as she calls it manic depression (same condition just different names) and it was like having been on holiday some where and as much as you tell people about your holiday unless they've been there,no one else know's what its like or how cold it was or how long the days and nights are or how lonely it can be,but i knew that my friend had been on the same holiday as me.Today i didn't feel like i was on my own,today i didn't feel so isolated,today i felt like i was a little bit more normal because today for the first time in my life i met some one that had been on holiday to the same place as me.Thanks Jack

My life (during one of my episodes)

Well where do i start,what do i say,i'm not quite sure partly as this is my first blog and partly as at the moment i don't really know if i need a shit or a hair cut if you know what i mean.One thing i do know is one of the reasons i've decided to start blogging (if thats what you say) is that i have been inspired by my friend Ruth's blogs and its like waiting for eastenders to come on waiting to read Ruth's next blog,i love the way she is able to express herself and say what's on her mind,this i feel is something i need to do myself but i seem to be either totally misunderstood or just totally ignored.At this point i feel i should warn you that if you don't like what i say then do not read on,i'm the type of person that does speak his mind very much,and can be very blunt,this is not meant to offend its just the way i am,which i'm not about to apologise for.One thing i will apologise for is my grammer and at times my spelling,although i will endevour to do my best.Before we go any further i must warn you that i suffer form bi polar disorder,which at the moment is a big part of my life as i'm in the middle of what can only be described as an episode.Not sure if any one will read this as i'm a blog virgin and i don't know how all of this works,but if you do thanks and feel free to comment